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3 steps to having a transformative birth experience

Updated: Feb 10, 2022

Hey, pregnant mama, this post is for you.

I know you are nervous and I know it seems scary, but you don't have to feel that way. It will take a little work to get rid of some fears, but if you take the time to prepare for your birth, it will transform you. I promise.

There’s plenty of ways to prepare for birth and not one way is perfect for everyone. But here are 3 steps I recommend to start mentally preparing for a transformative birth.

I’ve also created a worksheet to go alongside this post to help personalize this process for you. Download it here.

Now that you’ve had time to download the worksheet, let’s begin.

#1 – Survey yourself.

I know “survey yourself” sounds funny. But I am telling you girl, it will help. Write down your answer to these questions…

Do you believe that your body can birth your baby without needing intervention?

Do you believe that birth is safe?

Do you believe birth can be a positive experience?

If your answer is YES, then wow! I’m impressed and so incredibly excited for you. This means you have a fundamental belief that birth is a normal and a safe process that many women go through in life. It means while you may still have concerns over the details, your fundamental belief is that birth is normal and safe. That my friend, will serve you well. You’ve dodged a huge bullet called fear and I am proud of you.

If your answer was no, let’s explore it. My answer was “no” 4 years ago. I had absolutely no concept of what childbirth was other than what I had seen on TV. I understood the medical side of birth, which most people do, but I was missing something huge; the psychological/spiritual side. Maybe you are missing it too.

Print out that worksheet and let's go through these questions together.

What are your beliefs about birth? Do you believe it’s something you need to be saved from? Something medical professionals need to intervene in? Is it a right of passage? A spiritual moment? Or is it a moment of suffering, of punishment that you want to fast forward through?

You probably have never thought of these questions before. I know I hadn't. Shoot, 4 years ago, I was minding my own business reading my week-by-week pregnancy guides and adding the most useless items to my baby registry, thinking that was all I needed to do to prepare for birth. I never even thought about my preexisting beliefs on birth until I took a childbirth class. I felt unsettled about my beliefs on birth, so I pressed on. And that’s what I want you to do too… If you're feeling unsettled, move to step #2.

#2 – Discover.

I want you to get from point A belief (whatever that may be) to point B, a belief that birth is normal, healthy and a safe. I know there may be things standing in the way of that, such as deep seeded beliefs that birth is scary, painful, or traumatic. But in order to discover what those things are, we will need to start narrowing them down.

Journal out your thoughts and fears, research the answer to questions you may have, and if walking this road alone is too deep or uncomfortable, then find someone that will walk with you, a professional perhaps.

Put in the work. Read a book, take a natural birthing class (I know of a good one: listed on my website), listen to podcasts that support and believe in the physiological birth process. Listen to mothers talk about their positive birth experiences. Choose therapy for anything traumatic that needs to be worked through. And if those things aren't enough, I’ve listed more ways you can overcome your fears of childbirth in my free guide.

Oh, and yes, I said “natural” birth and that probably derailed some of you right there. But hang with me, I am serious, begin with an understanding of undisturbed childbirth. Not because you need to go unmedicated. An epidural or medication can be beneficial to a mom (we talk about that in my workshop), but you need to understand how our bodies work, how God uniquely knit us women together, and why you should take pride in your birthing abilities. Understanding natural childbirth is a confidence builder, whether you want to navigate those waters or not.

#3 – Own it.

Wow mama. You made it to #3. You have done a lot of hard work thus far. You’ve explored your previously held beliefs on birth, discovered birth in a whole new way and now it’s time to own your birth.

Owning your birth means your approaching birth calmly and confidently with a positive mindset. Remember, your doctor, midwife, nurse or partner's perspective on birth doesn’t matter.

Your body is influenced by your brain. It's your view on birth that matters. It's your mindset that will drastically change your birth experience.

So practice harnessing that positive energy through prayer, affirmations, hypnosis, breathing exercises, therapy, etc...

Find what works best for you and use it.

The more peace you have over your birth experience, the more power you’ll experience in the surrender.
Let it consume you, let it transform you and enjoy every minute of your birth!

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